He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
