i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
