We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
