ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
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either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
is that a dick in a sweater?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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