Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
foreskin is a definite game changer
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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