I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
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I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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