I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
