...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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