I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
