New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize