I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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