508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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