You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
