You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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