When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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