Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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