I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Couch. On fire.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize