Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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