I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
send nudes
from the living room?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
