is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
