Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She bit a glass in half.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
