So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
it hurts more in the daytime
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
