Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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