i need an iv and a liver transplant
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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