I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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