Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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