susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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