In the future we'll all be gay
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
