I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This girl is more easily done than said...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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