i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
where are you?
Hypothermia
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize