they need to just BURY HIM!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We talked him into tasing himself.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
