some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize