so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
