Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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