My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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