omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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