Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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