therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
