Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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