its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
