Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
