Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
