Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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