Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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