No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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