I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
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she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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