Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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