the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
