I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
