My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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