Your favorite bartender is back from prision
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
