did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize