I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.