I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"