plz talk dirty to me
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?