You really coming over, don't trick.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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