She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize