Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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