I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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