that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
