I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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