All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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