she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
