If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
